Month: January 2020

A friend of mine struggled with alcohol for many years. For a short time, she saved every empty bottle of alcohol and months later put them in a room and photographed them as a group. Each bottle she labeled with the date she drank it. The image was overpowering and profoundly sad. We don’t usually have the opportunity to see the alcoholic’s amount of consumption of alcohol as a whole. It certainly put a different perspective on not only the amounts but also the costs and effort that go into an addiction.

In this post I want to provide some perspectives on alcoholism recovery. I don’t think alcoholism and drug addiction should be considered the same type of addiction and so the methods recovery should not be the same. I find them to be two separate beasts needing different types of recovery. I’m also not fond of the general term “substance abuse,” which can be mistaken for the general term ”addiction.” Each addiction has its own unique dynamics, hence its own methods for recovery. For this post I will only focus on alcoholism recovery.

If you are an alcoholic reading this post wanting help, the good news is that there is help. But the type of help that worked well for others may not be the type of help that works for you. Absolutely first and foremost, you need to see your family practitioner. Your doctor needs to do blood work to make sure you are not in need of immediate care such as getting detoxed and guarantee you don’t have other serious issues going on like dehydration. You have to be honest and open with doctors. Ask them what local programs have shown the most success and are within your budget. What you want are options. You need options because ultimately this is a decision you will be making, and you need to find a recovery option you know you can commit to and will work for who you are. Nothing will help if you don’t do the work, so you need the recovery option that feels like a good fit for you and that you believe will encourage you to continue.

Rehabs are generally where alcoholics are referred to for recovery, but there are a few things you need to know before considering a rehab. Rehabs are generally unregulated and are profit-based businesses. Not all rehabs have qualified staff or healthcare professionals on staff. Many do not offer individual therapy, and most rely on the 12-Step program. Rehabs also have their own criteria for success rates. There is no actual way for a rehab to claim any success rate. Just because you don’t return doesn’t mean the program was successful. Another thing to consider is that you will be on lockdown. Very few facilities allow access to the outside world, which means no internet, phone, or email. Keep in mind: It’s your loved ones who will be supporting you through your continued recovery. Because of that, I believe they should be there every step of the way. The biggest problem with rehab is that when you go home, you are on your own. A good friend of mine went to a very nice rehab in California, many miles away from his home. He ate well, fished, and generally had a comfortable healthy time. He told me that while he was there, one woman left the rehab after a month. While at the airport waiting for her plane, she got drunk at the airport lounge. This makes sense. Rehabs treat in a bubble. When you leave, you probably won’t have a gourmet chef cooking for you or the sunset view of a bay or daily Reiki massages. You will be back home where it all started. Maybe removing yourself from your alcoholic environment or from the issues that trigger your alcoholism will work for you, but remember: If you want to be sober, you need to focus on the type of recovery that will work long term. Not all rehabs are alike, so do your research. Rehabs can cost as much as $1000 a day or more. You want that money well spent for your own sobriety.

I personally am not fond of Alcoholics Anonymous in a clinical setting. AA can be experienced as being very guilt focused, and there are those who are not comfortable with its religious history or context. There is a place for it outside a clinical setting, but different therapies should be considered first than just one. Why does Alcoholic Anonymous work for some people? It works because what it does is replace some of the reasons a person continues to drink. The meetings provide community, which replaces loneliness, an opportunity for growth, which replaces failure or being stagnant, peer support, which replaces stigma, reward (coins), which replaces real reward, and confession, which replaces therapy. The problem is that AA is really only a substitute for the things that are missing in the alcoholic’s life. It’s a perpetual state of limbo. The real issues never get addressed. AA becomes in fact a new addiction. It’s fulfilling what is missing in the alcoholic’s life. Is this a bad thing? It is as if the real issues are not uncovered and treated, each needing its own treatment and course of action. If an opportunity exists to help someone with his or her specific issues, that always should be the chosen method of recovery. AA is not the perfect solution, but it may be part of your bigger plan for sustained sobriety. AA meetings are available everywhere, every day, and are free. AA members can be friendly and welcoming, and if you need an extra incentive to go and check one out for yourself, they usually offer free coffee and donuts.

So what works? Like everything else, one size doesn’t fit all. Support from family, friends, coworkers, and other communities is number one on the recovery plan. I do realize it can be a challenge for family and friends, especially if the alcoholism has caused problems in those relationships. This is where a therapist can explore relationships that have been healthy for the alcoholic and work as part of a team with those who can provide the support. Recovery has to happen during the everyday life of the alcoholic. Going off to a rehab in the Bahamas is not going to work. What do you think is going to happen when the alcoholic comes back from a luxury rehab to go back the same broken dynamics?  Outpatient rehab and therapy provide many more options than an inpatient rehab. The alcoholic can work with the rehab/therapist with daily challenges and triggers. The costs are lower, which helps make it less of a financial burden and makes it more likely that those struggling can get help. Recovery can be custom-tailored to the alcoholic’s needs and method of treatment. Family can be present during some of the therapy. Additional outside programs and groups can be specifically chosen.

You have choices both short term and long term. Everyone’s situation is different, so there may be some trial and error in finding out what will work for you in the long term. It’s possible rehab followed by out-patient therapy will work for you. There are also a variety of different medications used for alcoholism treatment. SMART Recovery is similar to Alcoholic Anonymous and should be considered if you are uncomfortable with AA’s sobriety approach. Like AA, SMART Recovery is available in different locations although it’s not as common. There are also live online meetings for various addictions where you can participate from home.

Start with your doctor. Maybe visit an online meeting. Do your research. Ask lots of questions. Move forward. Embrace your healthier self.

Meetings in your area

https://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/list

Q&A: What Really Goes on In Drug Rehabs

Make sure light bulb is off for 5 minutes. Turn on bulb for 8 seconds, turn off bulb for 2 seconds, turn on bulb for 2 seconds, turn off bulb for 2 seconds, turn on bulb for 2 seconds, turn off bulb for 2 seconds, turn on bulb for 2 seconds, turn off bulb for 2 seconds, turn on bulb for 8 seconds, turn off bulb for 2 seconds, turn on bulb for 8 seconds, turn off bulb for 2 seconds and then turn on bulb.

This is the process to reset a newer light bulb, the kind you have on a table, or next to your bed or hanging in multiple, in your chandelier. A few years ago, we could just buy a light bulb and screw it in, but the world has changed and will continue to, and for better or for worse, it’s getting more complicated.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is characterized by persistent and excessive worry about a number of different things.

According to The Anxiety and Depression Association of America, there are sobering statistics showing that depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. Almost one fifth of the United States population over 18 suffers from an anxiety disorder. Medical News Today points out that anxiety is on the rise and has been rising for decades. There are plenty of statistics online to show the prevalence of anxiety and its crippling nature, but chances are, you don’t need statistics to prove what you already know, which is anxiety affects all of us, either directly or indirectly.

Without going into the chemistry side of anxiety such as stimulants or anxiety medication, we need to know what these external forces are that are creating our distress. In my blog post Identity, I write about how who we are has become fractioned into micro-identities and the conflicts with being many different dynamic identities and how this challenges our definition of ourselves and others. Culture is a driving force in our identity, and culture and ideologies have been changing at a very rapid pace in recent. Along with gaining more identities, there is also the losing or ambiguity of identities such as political parties, religious entities or countries becoming more diversified. Who is who and what is what? If you are a (fill in the blank), are you also a (fill in the blank)? Confused about who you think you are, who others think you are or who anyone else is, is clearly distressing and can have serious implications in your personal, work and religious life as well your relationships with others. What we need to understand is we are dynamic; we change and everyone else does also. Constantly focusing on all your identities and analyzing others is a lot of weight to carry. Suppress this anxiety by focusing on “identity” only when you have to, because each day, some things about you change.

When I first read the “light bulb instructions”, just reading it gave me anxiety! I felt for all the people that struggle with new technology and was also angry that a light bulb is now that complicated. I am not a technology hater. I’m quite the opposite and have worked with very high-end tech and have designed tech for nursing simulation. The common idea is that modern technology makes life easier. The truth is, it does not. It makes things more convenient and gives us more options but the process to make it convenient is not easy. When you compare making a purchase with cash and purchasing something with your phone, you’ll see my point. With cash, you have various ways of accessing it with many people getting it along with their purchase at a store. The process of purchasing something with your phone has a very complicated set-up process which includes getting a phone that will run the app, downloading and setting up the app, recheck for latest update, making sure the phone has the right firmware update to run the app, going through the various policies, making sure you have enough memory to run the app, reading reviews and checking into how secure it is, coming up with and remembering a unique password that uses letters, numbers and characters, making sure the phone has enough power by the time you make your purchase, etc. We all use tech like this and generally do a good job with it but what is happening is many things that were once easy are now complicated. Compound this with fears of data-breaches, identity theft, hacking and also user-error. Another problem with all this complexity in our lives now, is it’s constantly changing, and your skills must be updated regularly. You just don’t learn it once like riding a bicycle, you have to retrain to accommodate the newer ways to do things and if you don’t, there are serious consequences.

On their own they are small anxieties, but they can accumulate and become burdensome over time.  If it’s burdensome now, know that the technology in your car far exceeds what was in the Apollo rockets that went to the moon. It is complicated. Your anxiety with it is for good reason. We are in the infancy of the computer-age and there is much that needs to be done to make tech easier and less-problematic. Fortunately for now, we still have some analog choices that we can use to reduce our tech anxiety. Be mindful when you purchase tech and apps to make sure you can use it with ease. For example, some TVs now have remotes with buttons and nothing identifying what they are. You may want to skip those.

I do want to briefly write about job hunting and working. Again, identity is another issue that can cause anxiety when applying for a job or keeping a job. I will write more about this topic in a future post but I would like to mention it in this post because, like everything I have written about anxiety so far, the rules of applying for work and holding a job, are more complicated and seem to change every day. For one, a resume used to suffice when applying for a job. It does not anymore. There are so many more qualifications required, and the applicant only knows some. Not knowing exactly what the hiring manager is looking for can cause anxiety, not to mention the other types of evaluations that are going during an interview. Businesses now are looking for employees with the same “identity” as the employer. Much has been written about this and the legality of it comes into question. Try to identify with yourself what is normal job anxiety and what is anxiety that may be harmful in the short and long term. Avoid the latter.

The more specific types of anxiety caused by mental illness, disorders and phobias have competent treatments but more needs to be learned as far as identifying the right treatment/therapy for the right person. I do at some point want to research more on new innovative treatments and discuss them in a future post.

And of course, we have anxiety by association; those people that know exactly what button to push to make us pull out our hair. Many of these people that cause anxiety in us are transient. We just have to get through that moment and be mindful that moment will pass. As for the others, you need to evaluate why they are causing you anxiety, how important is this person in your life, can you work this out between you two, is the person destructive, what are the consequences if you cease contact with the person? You also need to be realistic about yourself and your tolerances. What may cause anxiety for you may not for others.

Hooray! There are many solutions now that are working for people. The internet can help give you safe ideas that you feel will work with you but first discuss everything with your doctor. Thankfully, your primary care doctor can do the initial evaluation, which is highly recommended in case the anxiety is coming from other sources or conditions. Many primary physicians can also prescribe certain medications for anxiety.

There are many more causes of anxiety that are unique to the times we live in.  I sometimes think if I sit on a porch and just look out everyday with no contact or information with the rest of the world, everyday is a good day. For the most part, that is true. Granted, some of us are in the military or live in very troubled areas or with troubled people but for most of us, there is an area near us that is anxiety-free. That is your bubble space you can imagine as anxiety-free. Deal with specific issues with specific solutions that affect you directly. Separate your anxieties, do not mix them all into one anxiety. Sort through them and identify which ones are doing the most harm, and work on understanding what the problem is.

While you’re ruminating about your anxieties, have a bowl of ice cream, any kind, lactose free and dairy free included. Science has apparently proven ice cream can make you happy. For real. Use the excuse, “science said so” and go grab a bowl.