A friend of mine struggled with alcohol for many years. For a short time, she saved every empty bottle of alcohol and months later put them in a room and photographed them as a group. Each bottle she labeled with the date she drank it. The image was overpowering and profoundly sad. We don’t usually have the opportunity to see the alcoholic’s amount of consumption of alcohol as a whole. It certainly put a different perspective on not only the amounts but also the costs and effort that go into an addiction.
In this post I want to provide some perspectives on alcoholism recovery. I don’t think alcoholism and drug addiction should be considered the same type of addiction and so the methods recovery should not be the same. I find them to be two separate beasts needing different types of recovery. I’m also not fond of the general term “substance abuse,” which can be mistaken for the general term ”addiction.” Each addiction has its own unique dynamics, hence its own methods for recovery. For this post I will only focus on alcoholism recovery.
If you are an alcoholic reading this post wanting help, the good news is that there is help. But the type of help that worked well for others may not be the type of help that works for you. Absolutely first and foremost, you need to see your family practitioner. Your doctor needs to do blood work to make sure you are not in need of immediate care such as getting detoxed and guarantee you don’t have other serious issues going on like dehydration. You have to be honest and open with doctors. Ask them what local programs have shown the most success and are within your budget. What you want are options. You need options because ultimately this is a decision you will be making, and you need to find a recovery option you know you can commit to and will work for who you are. Nothing will help if you don’t do the work, so you need the recovery option that feels like a good fit for you and that you believe will encourage you to continue.
Rehabs are generally where alcoholics are referred to for recovery, but there are a few things you need to know before considering a rehab. Rehabs are generally unregulated and are profit-based businesses. Not all rehabs have qualified staff or healthcare professionals on staff. Many do not offer individual therapy, and most rely on the 12-Step program. Rehabs also have their own criteria for success rates. There is no actual way for a rehab to claim any success rate. Just because you don’t return doesn’t mean the program was successful. Another thing to consider is that you will be on lockdown. Very few facilities allow access to the outside world, which means no internet, phone, or email. Keep in mind: It’s your loved ones who will be supporting you through your continued recovery. Because of that, I believe they should be there every step of the way. The biggest problem with rehab is that when you go home, you are on your own. A good friend of mine went to a very nice rehab in California, many miles away from his home. He ate well, fished, and generally had a comfortable healthy time. He told me that while he was there, one woman left the rehab after a month. While at the airport waiting for her plane, she got drunk at the airport lounge. This makes sense. Rehabs treat in a bubble. When you leave, you probably won’t have a gourmet chef cooking for you or the sunset view of a bay or daily Reiki massages. You will be back home where it all started. Maybe removing yourself from your alcoholic environment or from the issues that trigger your alcoholism will work for you, but remember: If you want to be sober, you need to focus on the type of recovery that will work long term. Not all rehabs are alike, so do your research. Rehabs can cost as much as $1000 a day or more. You want that money well spent for your own sobriety.
I personally am not fond of Alcoholics Anonymous in a clinical setting. AA can be experienced as being very guilt focused, and there are those who are not comfortable with its religious history or context. There is a place for it outside a clinical setting, but different therapies should be considered first than just one. Why does Alcoholic Anonymous work for some people? It works because what it does is replace some of the reasons a person continues to drink. The meetings provide community, which replaces loneliness, an opportunity for growth, which replaces failure or being stagnant, peer support, which replaces stigma, reward (coins), which replaces real reward, and confession, which replaces therapy. The problem is that AA is really only a substitute for the things that are missing in the alcoholic’s life. It’s a perpetual state of limbo. The real issues never get addressed. AA becomes in fact a new addiction. It’s fulfilling what is missing in the alcoholic’s life. Is this a bad thing? It is as if the real issues are not uncovered and treated, each needing its own treatment and course of action. If an opportunity exists to help someone with his or her specific issues, that always should be the chosen method of recovery. AA is not the perfect solution, but it may be part of your bigger plan for sustained sobriety. AA meetings are available everywhere, every day, and are free. AA members can be friendly and welcoming, and if you need an extra incentive to go and check one out for yourself, they usually offer free coffee and donuts.
So what works? Like everything else, one size doesn’t fit all. Support from family, friends, coworkers, and other communities is number one on the recovery plan. I do realize it can be a challenge for family and friends, especially if the alcoholism has caused problems in those relationships. This is where a therapist can explore relationships that have been healthy for the alcoholic and work as part of a team with those who can provide the support. Recovery has to happen during the everyday life of the alcoholic. Going off to a rehab in the Bahamas is not going to work. What do you think is going to happen when the alcoholic comes back from a luxury rehab to go back the same broken dynamics? Outpatient rehab and therapy provide many more options than an inpatient rehab. The alcoholic can work with the rehab/therapist with daily challenges and triggers. The costs are lower, which helps make it less of a financial burden and makes it more likely that those struggling can get help. Recovery can be custom-tailored to the alcoholic’s needs and method of treatment. Family can be present during some of the therapy. Additional outside programs and groups can be specifically chosen.
You have choices both short term and long term. Everyone’s situation is different, so there may be some trial and error in finding out what will work for you in the long term. It’s possible rehab followed by out-patient therapy will work for you. There are also a variety of different medications used for alcoholism treatment. SMART Recovery is similar to Alcoholic Anonymous and should be considered if you are uncomfortable with AA’s sobriety approach. Like AA, SMART Recovery is available in different locations although it’s not as common. There are also live online meetings for various addictions where you can participate from home.
Start with your doctor. Maybe visit an online meeting. Do your research. Ask lots of questions. Move forward. Embrace your healthier self.