We all know what the definition is because we all have our own idea and experience what bullying is. The causes are many but what I think it comes down to is an aggressive form of competition. The bully needs to feel in control of something and aggression works because the response to it is usually passive. Being dominant is seen as an accomplishment to the bully. It gives a feeling of control and empowerment. It’s a reaction to experiencing a weakness or fear. That weakness or fear can be very complex.
Bullying should be seen as a perpetual cycle. The successful bully will not stop and probably will escalate. Because of this, there should be zero tolerance. The bully should be confronted by someone that they trust, and they should be told that their behavior is being identified as bullying and that it is unacceptable and punishable. They should be told that it’s systematic of other issues and those issues should be explored by a professional. When appropriate, options could be made as to where help is available for them to explore their issues. The bully should also be separated from their recipient and this should be monitored.
It will be up to the bully to deal with the issues that is causing the bullying and so until that happens, avoidance, discipline and monitoring are the only options. Understanding that there is unhealthy competition in the bully may help in trying to provide opportunities that are healthy self-esteem building and that have an expected achievement. Unfortunately, bullying happens with adults, neighbors, partners, family and co-workers. It can be a game of tolerance. The consequences of addressing the bully have to be weighed and may come down to identifying if the bullying is approaching intolerable but tolerance has its limits. No bullying should really be tolerated.